On breathing under water — (A return to)

Go deep within. Down
down
down
Deep, deep, deep.
This is how you swim inward
This is how you float outward
Beneath these depths I am reminded of the grace of reticence,
the power of discretion, of being completely private and autonomous
yet profoundly aware of and receptive to the world.
I soak my heart in salt
drag my bones towards the quiet light
I am dissolved
not dismembered;
A shiver of pleasure into the inside.

A revolution of tenderness

Stay soft —
You can carry as much weight in quiet, in resting gently as you can in noise and distortion. Silence is kind. It all comes down to a rawness and depth in emotion. The ability to carry and hold presence. To movements through not knowing all the answers and maintaining bravery through a tender collapse and reconstruct. Fall upon new truths that run down from the top of your head and out from the heart; nurture them (inside) softly. Don’t look away. Look straight at everything. Look it all in the eye. Be terrified, but open your arms. 

A note to self

Self as subject —
Intimate moments of the heart in a rising sun. Drinking from this one vast, oceanic light.
I have realised this week that deep down I still hold a sense of fear around being seen, fully.
Taking the time to remember who I am, where I am and where I would love to be. Though I am very much in love right here, right now. Very much immersed in the heaven I am nourished by currently and the sincere love that surrounds. Still, allowing for what is moving through me, to move through me.
A scent that lingers with ease as each sun wakes. A never ending finding of flow; constant reminders not to (entirely) bottle up conversations with the inner self. To navigate through the ability to understand something instinctively without the need for conscious reasoning.
Finding all multifaceted parts of me, through what is not me.  

To show up (for self) and communicate my sentiments in clarity, while suspending preconceptions of my own self. Especially on the heavy days. The sweet shadows — Sometimes it is hard to see the light, when you’re on your knees. But nothing disappears until it has taught us what we need to know. So rather than fighting, I observe and play witness.
Unafraid of the depths, grateful for the peaks.
There is knowledge of years through deep rooted self work in soothing and knowing how to reduce friction, give comfort, and holding these limbs when they undergo growing pains. To pour several types of love into my own at every corner. In seeing the value of intentional rest and dropping into a parasympathetic state. That doing isn’t always in alignment with productivity. Movement begets breath. Meditation begets mental stillness. An uncomfortable conversation begets clarity.
To support myself how I support my loved ones. 

Fragile tender Life body

Before all things
fold
and gold away
Before the sky
turns to midnight silk
and hiding
Spill me as sunburnt honey
upon your tongue
Overflow gently 
Make residual light out of me
Spread me
heavenly
in silences
and soft fires
Rest through me
Your red heart
fragile tender
fragile tender life body.

Abyss

I decided to give voice to flesh
to live as a woman 
to do that 
I had to spit the stones
that were in my mouth
I had to become elusive 
to sustain myself from the inside
enter myself as a ghost
and turn limbs
to everything
I had to take my heart
from my chest
delicately
and soak it
out at sea
The abyss of full blown sunsets
I had to bleed
red hot blood
and catch that blood in my hands
and drink it down
ravaged
with a sun thread heart
I had to pulverize my bones
What I am saying
is the curves of my body
no longer rely
on their neat ability
to fold into themselves. 

Reverie

I have dreamt of you
in places
that I have not seen before
sung into
every lung
full of air
with warm smoke
tearing through liquid light
finger tips upon
smouldering amber
and hidden rivers
sun slipping between
barriers
of inner melt
to keep
to carry
to posses.

Hold me like a rose

I show you
I find you
I ask you
I don’t ask
I don’t wait
I won’t ask
I can’t tell you
I bite
I bite your lip
I breathe your breath
I pulse
I pray
I pray aloud
I smell you on my skin
I say the word
I say your name
I cover you
I shelter you
I run from you
I run to you
hold me like a rose
feed my mind
with your tongue
anaesthetise my reason
and my conscience
in bones
in bodies
of heart.

Closer to fire

In the evening hour
my hands were covered
in midnight honey
pipe tobacco
and silken threads
unravelling
dripping
in solitary fire
in flickering thoughts
of offering myself up to you
but I would rather
pass through silence
alone
and breathing
just for this night
dear one
so I float
in and out
of reveries
and reflections
and you wait
I know you wait
while I rejoice
in the burnt land
as I break every inch
of this blood
moving hips through
the vast heat
of desert plains
so when I am washed
clean
of all that rattles
in my body
when I have exploded
the truth
of myself
through this journey
of skeletal zones
when my bones
crack and shiver
tenderly
I will lay
a kiss in the palm of your hand
for all that went unspoken
so you understand
how I
pour inside of you.

Sing into my mouth

For all that we know
and all that we do not know
through eloquent
deliberate
silence
with thunder in my veins
freezing sunlight
burning night
licking honey off thorns
a colossal cultivation of sky
engulfed in resurrection of self
enter my throat and swallow liquid expansiveness
ailments to heavier breath
as i lay myself beneath seven oceans of the universe
moving within the gravity
of truth
gathering this spilling
that permeates
my skin
arterial blood from my bones
shades of my soul
sung into my mouth.

Dawn

I am a water
for the fire
that burns it’s way
through every breath
held
between
your bones
I am the honey
soaked
in dripping love
I give flames
to the words
that bleed
right out of your lips
pour yourself
tenderly
upon me
when the dawn is thin.

Unraveling

Swallowing all the women
inside
a resurrection
unraveling
silken heart threads
in
spitting fire
inside throats
arterties
and
interior passageways
this fierce
instinctual
life force
ignited
and
offering
everything.

Soundless

There is a light
that burns
swollen
in soundless hours
slipping onto
welcoming skin
I birth these flames
across bloodlines
the same way
the sun swells
piercing the surface
of ocean
vastness
I spill
in the
unfolding.
 

Spilling

In transformation
sensations
opening to vastness
wounds spilling
into wisdom
tenderness
engulfing self
ripples in the depths
of life awakening
weaving
golden strands
of surrender
elevating above
heart to see
eyes to feel
infinite resplendence
flowing fearlessly
with a fire lit beneath.

Drinking nectar

It is running to
drip
drip
dripping
heart of incandescence
it is soft revelations
whispering
tender incantations
beneath
the flesh
of
you
it is the unseen world
of our salt body
limbs
woven
it is hip
held up
by your other one
it is the drinking
of honey nectar
from your
spine
where
the
sweet
could not
be
sweeter.

Melt

There are times
my eyes grow
heavy
under fragile sky
in reverent silence
in howling
thunder
in divine fire
these flames
draped
from inside
the
blazing
of
my
hips
soft water falls
lips
to my veins
pulsing
upon ground
standing naked
in dreams
rising
and slowly
drinking
from
muted light
I unfold
where all is eternal
and language
is swallowed
in
fire.

Heart Skin

Bring me rain
cradled in humidity
bring me the scent
of open fire
and this salt heart
washed ashore
under the lightning
undress
heart skin
let us burn away the conceptual world
to awaken through hours
of
swollen jasmine
and blooms lingering over
endearment
tear the moon from my lungs
beneath the force
between us
up all night
up all of the nights
to bleed the language
where still is torn
spoken in sentimentality
graceful and ethereal
romantic and fiery
eruptive and vulgar
ashes of dawn
alighting our insides
fill us full to the bone
let your burning body
sink
into my sea
collapsing
panting
here
to lay you down
in the palm
of my heart.